The Welfare Celebrity Blog

Teri Hatcher WTF

2007-11-23T06:41:00.000-06:00

I've had this pic of Teri Hatcher sitting around for awhile now. I was thinking of doing a quick photoshop job to it before work, but I decided not to. Honestly, is there anything I could possibly do to make this image look any worse?

Zac Efron Gets Blasted At A Gay Bar

2007-10-29T23:44:00.001-05:00

Last week High School Musical star Zac Efron was spotted at an LA gay bar. Up until this point it was unclear if the young star was straight or gay. After his recent hose down, I think its pretty safe to say he is a flaming homo.

OJ Strikes Again

2007-10-12T11:05:00.001-05:00

OJ Simpson Strikes again, or perhap maybe he's staring in Weekend at Bernies 3?

Britney Bombs At The VMAs

2007-09-10T09:45:00.000-05:00

This act was simply hilarious. She looked half asleep (or drugged out for that matter), all her moves looked of, and she was moving kinda sluggish. To top it all off, she pulled off one of the worst lip-syncing jobs I have ever seen. At this rate, I give Britney 2 years before she takes up her new job at a McDonalds drive-thru. Big comeback my ass.

Amy Winehouse Is Still Damn Scarey

2007-09-04T12:29:00.001-05:00

Now there's a lot of things I could have done to this pic with Photoshop, but like a few other pics on here, I asked myself what the point would be. After all, just look at these pics. Either you'll get a good laugh, or be scared shitless.

Keira Knightley's Weight Loss Out Of Control?

2007-08-30T10:59:00.000-05:00

It seems actress Keira Knightley is one of the many Hollywood stars to adopt the skeleton look. She joins fellow celebrity skeletons such as Angelina Jolie, Jenna Jameson, and Amy Winehouse.

Kim Kardashian Going Natural Too?

2007-08-29T09:44:00.001-05:00

A few weeks back we got a disturbing site of Liv Tyler with unshaven legs. It seems Kim Kardashian is following the trend as we can see here with her unshaven armpits. Pretty nasty is you ask me. Also, is it me, or does she seem to be gaining weight?

Jessica Alba Shrinks Maria Sharapova

2007-08-25T05:23:00.001-05:00

At a recent awards show a very sexy looking Jessica Alba teaches Maria Sharapova not to screw with her. The fans laughed on, but after awhile it grew old and Maria Sharapova was turned back to normal.

Jessica Alba To Endorse Valtrex

2007-08-24T09:50:00.001-05:00

Actress Jessica Alba has announced recently that she will be endorsing the herpes medication Valtrex. At this point this is all the information that has been released. Its expected more info on this partnership will come out sometime within the next few days.

Back That Ass Up Paris

2007-08-24T04:26:00.001-05:00

In a surprising move, hotel heiress Paris Hilton has apparently got herself some ass implants. Im not really sure why shes done such a thing, but im sure she must be happy with them.

Ugly Betty Really Is Ugly Even When She Isn't Ugly Betty

2007-08-20T02:35:00.001-05:00

Now I had originally though Ugly Betty star America Ferrera was a pretty girl under all that ugly make-up and clothes she wears on TV. However, this recent pic of her shows she's actually uglier then Ugly Betty. A tip to ugly girls... Make-up works! Even if you're still ugly after wearing make up, chances are you wont be as ugly. Got it? Good.

Mary Kate Olsen To Make Out With Some Old Guy In Film

2007-08-19T01:55:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago we reported on the Olsen Twins actually being shapeshifting grey aliens. Even more bizarre is that 21 year old (in Earthling years) Mary Kate will be doing a make-out seen with 63 year old actor Ben Kingsley. Even more shocking is the revelation that it is not only a kiss, but a sex scene with full frontal nudity. This is damn disgusting. I'll never look at little Michelle Tanner the same way again.

Eva Longoria Buys A Bunch Of Stuff At The Market

2007-08-17T23:23:00.001-05:00

Damn pics like these are exciting aren't they? Anyway, here we see Eva buying an assload of chile, some Fruit Loops, and tampons. Also some other stuff mixed in that I can't see. Hmm, makes me wonder why all the chili though. Maybe she hasn't been getting enough fiber.

Hilary Duff Gaining Weight?

2007-08-17T20:52:00.000-05:00

This is a recent picture of Miss Hilary Duff at an animal rescue benefit. It seems Hilary might wan't to talk to Jenna Jameson for a few weight loss tips.

Jenna Jameson Loses More Weight

2007-08-16T21:26:00.001-05:00

It seems adult film actress Jenna Jameson just doesn't know when to stop when it comes to weight loss. It is rumored that the 33 year old actress is down to 78 pounds, and still claims she's too fat. Seriously, I would hate to see what she looks like if she loses anymore. As is she's way too skinny.

Justin Timberlake Gets A Dirty Beaten In An LA Club

2007-08-15T23:48:00.001-05:00

This past weekend musician Justin Timberlake got his ass beat in an LA Club by another man by the name of Jamaal Thomas. Witnesses claim the 26 year old Timberlake walked into the club when he was approached by Mr Thomas. Mr Thomas then said "Yo, you be dat Backstreet Boy aint you whiteboy?" Mr Timberlake then explained to Thomas that it was N'SYNC, and not Backstreet Boys. At this point Thomas screamed "All yo asses are gay." After this Thomas proceeded to beat the living daylights out of Justin Timberlake as a crowd full of club goers cheered on. Police were called but officers at the scene laughed along with the rest of crowd. Timberlake then left the club bloody and in tears.

Liv Tyler Goes Natural

2007-08-14T21:40:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week, actress Liv Tyler was spotted walking around in New York. Its seems the young actress has decided to go natural and not shave her legs. While I do admire her courage, that leg hair is damn nasty.

A Drunken Megan Fox Stumbles About The Streets Of New York

2007-08-13T11:17:00.000-05:00

Im not so sure its a good idea for her to wander around NY drunk after dark. Thankfully she wasn't hurt. Looks cute though eh?

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Jessica Alba Mauled By Rabid Dog

2007-08-12T15:55:00.001-05:00

Minutes before the attack

Ouch!

Actress Jessica Alba was mauled by a dog while doing some shopping early today. While her injuries were not series, the actress claimed "It hurt like a son of a bitch and there was blood everywhere." Thankfully the dog that attacked her did not have rabies.

Amy Winehouse Likes Her Drinks With That Extra Kick

2007-08-12T01:57:00.001-05:00

Hmm, pretty nasty having a frog in your drink if you ask me. To each their own I guess.

Jessica Alba Sighted With He-Man In Rome

2007-08-12T00:28:00.000-05:00

Friend? Lover? Its anyones guess. One things for sure, no one is gonna mess with Miss Alba while Eternia's finest is around.

Nicole Ritchie Looking Sexy For Her Interview

2007-08-11T23:40:00.000-05:00

She's a hottie alright. Hmm, I wonder who the baby is gonna take after.

Kate Beckinsale Also Has Dog Trouble

2007-08-10T01:08:00.000-05:00

Hmm, looks to me like the dog that humped Kim Kardashian's leg is back. Looks a bit smaller to me though. One of his pups perhaps? Well, at least he has good taste in legs.

Jessica Biel Gets Hit In Head With Basketball While Watching Game

2007-08-09T14:46:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, the 25 year old actress got hit in the head by a stray basketball while watching a game. Thankfully she was not badly injured and suffered only a small lump that doctors expect to heal within the next few days.

Britney Spears Does Some Toy Shopping

2007-08-09T00:19:00.001-05:00

Hmm, what an interesting choice of toys. Anyway, whats up with those brown stains on her backside?

Britney Spears Gets Naked With A Stranger In Pool

2007-08-08T23:39:00.000-05:00

Yup, shes losing it alright. What a skank. Hmm, looks like someone peed in the pool too. I guess we should be glad someone didn't make a big brown submarine in there too.

Teri Hatcher To Play The Joker In Upcoming Batman Film

2007-08-08T00:08:00.000-05:00

Its official, Teri Hatcher is set to play The Joker in an upcoming Batman film. Hmm, im thinking she should have gone for the Skeletor role that Angelina Jolie seems to want.

Amy Winehouse Has Rats In Her hair

2007-08-07T23:48:00.000-05:00

I've heard the rumor of rats living in singer Amy Winehouse's hair for sometime now. I dismissed them as an internet rumor at first, but it appears now to be true. Who knows what else may lurk in there?

Shark Bites Tara Reid In Ass

2007-08-07T17:58:00.001-05:00

This past weekend a shark attacked actress Tara Reid biting her in the ass. Thankfully the injuries were not too serious and only required stitches. Im willing to bet she won't be going back to the beach anytime soon.

Amy Winehouse Is Damn Scarey

2007-08-06T01:10:00.001-05:00

Again, no photoshopping needed for these pics. Im not sure if its the freaky hair, the tattoos, her skeleton like figure, or her manly looks. This girl is just scarey :P

Jamie Pressly Fun

2007-08-06T00:28:00.000-05:00

Now i've seen pics of Jamie Pressly before and she's not a bad looking girl. Not great looking, but not bad either. I stumbled on this pic last night and was kinda shocked. If you have to ask why, then please punch yourself in the head a few times. I was gonna photoshop this one for some extra fun, but then decided against it since nothing I could possibly do would make this pic funnier, or more disgusting. Excuse me while I go throw up now.

Jessica Alba Takes A Leak On Walmart Floor

2007-08-05T19:03:00.001-05:00

Jessica Alba was recently caught peeing on a floor in Walmart near the cleaning supplies. When stopped by security, she denied it was her. However, after slipping security a few $100 bills, she was released.

While this story may be rather disgusting, it does have a bright side to it. Mr Jorge Lopez was working as a janitor at he Walmart cleaned up the urine and put it in his empty coffee thermos. He later soled the urine on EBay and became $500 richer. When asked to comment on his find, he replied "This money make me much richer. I now send my money back to Mexico to give to my brother Juan and his family. With it he will finally have enough money to pay someone to help them over the border. Thank you Miss Alba for peeing on my floor."

Olsen Twins Are Really Shapeshifting Aliens

2007-08-05T00:29:00.001-05:00

Over the past few years the Olsen twins seem to have been getting creepier and creepier. It turns out they were really shapeshifting grey aliens. Last week at a party they seemingly lost their ability to hold their human form. According to witnesses, the girls skin started to turn a greyish color, their eyes black, and their heads began to enlarge. At this point one of the girls pulled out a ray gun and threatened to shoot. While one would think this would freak most people out, everyone there thought it was pretty cool and the party went on.

Hilary Duff Gives A Row Full Of Horned Out Guys A View They Won't Forget

2007-08-04T15:21:00.001-05:00

Now I really don't have much of an opinion on Hilary Duff, but its clear she's come a long way since her Lizzie McGuire days. Anyway, its obvious to me the guys in this pic were more interested in the views she gave them, rather then her music.

Paris Hilton Eats A Puppy

2007-08-04T12:24:00.001-05:00

Here we see Paris Hilton snacking on a small puppy. Only time will tell if this becomes a new fad amongst other celebrities. If so, expect puppy eating the new in thing to do.

Halle Berry Sporting An Afro

2007-08-03T12:25:00.001-05:00

Actress Halle Berry was spotted in Hollywood sporting an afro and wearing a white dress that appeared to have food stains all over it.

Pam Anderson News

2007-08-03T00:09:00.003-05:00

Pamela walks down the beach. Is it me, or does it look like her boob has been deflated some? Hmm, Maybe Tommy popped it while beating her.

Pam sits on the beach with her ex husband Tommy Lee

Remember Pamela Anderson? Yeah, most of you are probably saying who cares, she's yesterdays news. Well Pamela Anderson announced today that she is writing a new book. She was quiet on the details, but did offer a small sample.

"Over the years people would ask me why I stood with Tommy after he used to beat me. Well the truth be told, he said he loved me. I truly believed him and felt that I could change him so he wouldn't hit me so much. Boy was I wrong."

That was all that was give from the upcoming book. Your opinions?

Kylie Minogue Steps In Dog Doo Doo While Filming Doctor Who Episode

2007-08-02T21:35:00.001-05:00

Miss Minogue seconds before the event

Last week singer/acttress Kylie Minogue steped in a pile of dog crap while preparing to shoot a scene in an upcoming Doctor Who episode. When asked for comment, she told the press that someone really should have cleaned that up. It could have been really dangerous. Someone could have slipped on it and cracked their head on the steps. Luckily I just got it on my boot. It stunk really bad too. I had to throw my boots away and have them get me a new pair before I could finish filming.

Kenneth Copeland Turns Into Monster And Scares People

2007-08-02T14:31:00.000-05:00

In a church service last Sunday, Tv preacher Kenneth Copeland turned into what churchgoers described as a demon from Hell. According to eyewitness Bob Smith, the incident occurred when Mr Copeland was laying hands on and trying to heal a man with herpes. "It was pretty scarey Mr Smith said. I was here with my 86 year old wheelchair bound mother. She was waiting to get healed and get out of her chair, but instead she got so scared she shit her pants. Let me tell you, it sure stunk up the whole place real good". According to several other witnesses there, at least 40-50 people got up out of fear and began heading for the doors. At this point some very large men dressed in black suits began standing in front of the doors to block all escape. The witnesses claimed these men each had a baseball bat in one hand, and a collection plate in the other. This is when Kenneth Copeland spoke to the church and told them that God was punishing him because the people of the church haven't been giving enough love offerings. He also claimed that God told him that he would heal him if the generous people of the church would open their wallets and each give a minimum of a $100 love offering so that God may heal him. Its unclear how many in the church then gave a love offering, but Mr Copeland seems to have returned back to normal and has not turned into a monster since.

Kim Kardashian Has Dog Trouble

2007-08-01T15:05:00.000-05:00

In all honesty, I still have no clue why this girl is famous. If anyone can tell me, please do.

The dog seems to like her though

Not sure who the bug eyed friend is. Then again, does it matter?

Paris Hilton Enjoys A Golden Shower

2007-08-01T12:28:00.000-05:00

photo by Amy Graves/WireImage.com /bad photoshoped pee by me

Latest Pics Of Super Skank Paris Hilton

2007-08-01T11:25:00.001-05:00

Some fat white guy grabs her booby as she smiles on. Hmm, I wonder where his right hand is.

Paris bends over to give some old black guy a hummer. Perhaps the fat guy from the previous pic plans on getting her on the other end.

More Jennifer Lopez Pics

2007-08-01T11:05:00.000-05:00

These were from her recent appearance on the Tonight Show...

Miss Lopez tries to figure out why she's still popular

Smiling pretty for the camera

Britney Spears Plays Ninja

2007-07-31T01:57:00.001-05:00

At least thats what it looks like as far as I can tell. Whatever she's doing, it sure is creepy. But hey she's a celebrity so is must be cool :)

Because Celebrities Are Better The You Or I

2007-07-30T23:24:00.000-05:00

Ok, lately theres been a lot of talk about celebrities getting arrested and doing stupid shit. Im here to set the record strait and stand up for whats right. First off these celebrities have tough lives. Its not easy being rich or famous. While you or I may bitch and complain about being slaves to the system and working 60 hours a week just to live, these people need to worry about much worse things. Sure you may not even have time for your friends or family, but these celebrities have people with cameras following them all around trying to take their pictures. It must be fucking horrible. Think about it, you have no privacy at all once you leave your home or hotel room. And to make matters worse, most of these evil, horrible, nasty people who take the pictures try to sell them to make big bucks. Thats just wrong. Because after all, the celebrities are the only ones who should be able to make a lot of money for doing practically nothing.

Ok ok im going to be fair in this blog and look at it from the other point of view. Lets take the recent Lindsey Lohan DUI incidents. Some of you out there say that she may have killed someone driving like that. But I say so what? Its Lindsey Lohan you're talking about, and she's a rich and famous celebrity. Even if she killed a bus full of nuns with her drunk driving, then who cares? After all, she was having fun and being cool. The lives of those nuns would have been insignificant. No one knows who those nuns are, so therefore no one should give a care. As long as Lindsey walked away ok, then it would be cool. What horrible people those police were for arresting her like that. How dare they lock up a person as rich and famous as her for something like a DUI. Now if Lindsey Lohan would have crashed into a car containing Paris Hilton or Christina Aguilera that would be a different story. However she didn't so why even think of such a silly scenario?

Still not convinced? Ok then lets look at Michael Jackson. Yes I admit he has done some strange things over the years, but like with Lindsey Lohan, so what? Yeah he's a fully grown man who admits to sleeping with children, but thats not the point. Michael Jackson makes everyone happy through his music and videos. So to say he's a bad person because he sleeps around with all sorts of children is just wrong. Not only is it wrong, but its racist too.

In the end I just have to say that people need to leave these celebrities alone and allow them to do whatever they want whenever they want. Their rich, and their famous and their better then you or I will ever be. After all, if us common folk were as good as them, we would be famous too. So the next time Miss Lohan decides to drive drunk, or OJ decides to kill someone, just remember their better then you so shut the fuck up. They have very hard lives trying to entertain and make simpletons like you and I happy. You better bow down and worship these wonderful people and shower them with praise no matter what they do.

Super Slut Madonna As She-Hulk

2007-07-30T12:14:00.001-05:00

Rumor around Hollywood was that Madonna was set to appear in a live-action She-Hulk film. It turns out the rumor was only part true. While she will take on the role of She Hulk, it will be as part of the upcoming Hulk sequel, and not a standalone film. She could not be reached for comment.

Victoria & David Beckham Doing What In Public?

2007-07-30T10:58:00.001-05:00

Im not too sure what to make of this pic I just found on Yahoo, so i'll leave it to the reader to decide. Damn, old Posh Spice seems to look creepier everytime I see her. Look at those arms. Something about em just don't seem right.

Classic 80s Megatron Sues Over Movie Portrayal

2007-07-28T23:15:00.000-05:00

Megatron then

Megatron now

Today Decepticon leader Megatron announced that he has hired a lawyer and intends to pursue legal action against Transformers film director Michael Bay, Steven Spielberg, and several unnamed others for his portrayal in the film. In a recent letter to the press, Megatron said...

"Just look at what they did to me in that film. Im supposed to be a bad-ass gun, but those retardicons turned me into some stupid futuristic space plane. I don't even resemble the evil mofo I was in the cartoon. I look like something out of the friggen Guyver. Seriously now, look at the face they gave me. It looks like that Autobot Arcee's robotic pussy. How is anybody going to take me serious now? This is even worse then when the toy companies made my trigger look like a dick on the first toy of me. I'll never find work again because of this. I mean the least they could have done was make me a tank like in the G2 series.

Im not the only one pissed over this. Poor Frenzy refuses to even come out of Soundwave anymore. Mr Bay seems to think it was cool making him look like a robotic chicken that shoots CDs. Its really a shame.

Its painfully clear to me that legal action must be taken now before work begins on the sequel. Rumor has it that Soundwave is set to make an appearance, so if nothings done now, their likely to turn him into Huffy bike or some shit. The line has to be drawn here."

We will report more on this story as info becomes available.

Angelina As Skeletor?

2007-07-28T22:01:00.000-05:00

Recently there has been a lot of talk about actress Angelina Jolie's skeleton-like figure. Rumors have been flying around Hollywood and fans have expressed their concerns about her health. Today the 32 year old actress released this statement.

"My dear friends and family, many of you have been worried about my recent weight loss. I however would like to tell you that I currently look the way I do because I have been trying for the role of Skeletor in the planned live-action He-Man film in 2009. While I am fully aware the role im going for is a male character, I have gotten inside knowledge from a good source that they were going to change the part to a female. Why Skeletor many of you may be wondering? Well as some of my fans may know, I have been a big fan of He-Man, and She-Ra since I was a little girl. Skeletor was always my favorite of the bunch. His blue skin and bony face are just so cool. I hope this letter puts to rest any of the rumors that have been said about my weight loss. Once I find out if I have the role or not, I will release another statement as to when i'll buff back up to my Tomb Raider days. Thank you very much. I love you all

Angelina "

While im not too sure she's the right one for the role. I do admire her determination.

What are your thoughts?